If you take a quick stroll down the aisles of any bookstore, you will find a vast array of selections penned by “experts,” and if you are easily swayed, could believe that without their sage advice, we would surely be unable to function. I am dazzled at the folks who are making a small fortune writing detailed instructions on how to live, and the masses of people who race to read these publications.
For the price of a family sized pizza with the works, you can pick up a glossy hardcover that will advise you on everything from how to save money (maybe stop spending it on advice books?) to how to, I’m completely serious, give advice. An advice book about giving advice — the author must have read the book about how to get money from fools.
There is one on how to deal with the difficult people in your life. I haven’t cracked it open to sneak a peek, but from my personal experience I would say that no matter what your relationship with the difficult person may be, you’ve got two choices. Suck it up and deal with it or move on and rid yourself of them. Fifteen words to a workable solution, but somehow this particular writer jotted down 249 pages on the topic and then convinced a publisher to mass produce the words. Admittedly, that one was on clearance and wouldn’t cost as much as the pizza, but was still pricier than a burger and fries.
While browsing recently, I came across a hardcover about how to live an ethical, honorable, honest life. Someone has to tell us how to do that? Now I am really afraid.
Some of the selections make sense to me. How to fix an air conditioner, make your own soap, build a bookshelf or change your oil — all things with specific procedures, things that we are not born already knowing that we may have a desire to learn. Fine. But an entire literary work about why, where, and how to hug?
Some subjects take up more shelf space than others. An abundance of titles are available about relationships — how to get into one, how to stay in one, how to know if it’s going badly and how to get out of one. After flipping through a few of these, especially the ones on recognizing the signs of a harmful relationship, I am no longer wondering where Jerry Springer gets his guests. Apparently, there are those of us who need to be told that if your spouse hits you, cheats on you, calls you names or ignores you, you may not have chosen the right person to grow old with. Who would have known?
Parenting is another popular subject. From pregnancy, to preschool to pre-law, if you want to know how to raise the perfect kid, someone, somewhere, has undoubtedly written a checklist for you to follow. There is a lot of conflicting advice out there and I think that if you read too many of these and try to put all that advice into action, you just may turn out to be one of those wishy-washy, pushover parents who needs to seek out yet more advice books on how to let your kids know that when you say something, you are serious. That’s one treadmill I’d just as soon stay away from.
So, after much thought — okay, a couple of minutes of thought — I decided that I could write one of these. Heck, anybody could write one, but my plan is to write one that covers it all. One book, one great life. And, I could keep the price low, too, let’s say, enough for coffee and a sweet roll. Not bad. Aw, let’s just print it here, and you can have it for free. So, let’s go . . .
- Saving money: Spend less than you earn and put the rest into the bank.
- Relationships (applies to all): Be fair, be kind, and don’t expect more of anyone else than you expect of yourself.
- Parenting: Be fair, be kind, and be in charge. As the years go by, let them test their wings and as long as they do well, let them go a little further. Never be afraid to clip those wings back if they show you they aren’t ready. Your kids may not always like you — get over it. If you remain fair and kind, they will respect you, and after they are grown, they’ll like you again.
- Aging gracefully: Wrinkles and gray hair mean that you are lucky. Many people are not blessed with enough years on this earth to get old. Be grateful. Anyway, there are few things more beautiful than faces that reflect years of living.
That should do it. If you are so inclined, I’d love a pecan danish and a cup of decaf.