Guys and girls. Confounding, actually. An on-going dance of the proverbial yin and yang. as it were.
Well guys, if you haven’t already figured it out, girls are a real part of the world. Can’t live without ‘em, yadayadayada. And to make things even more confusing, your mother is a girl. Nobody thinks of their mother as a girl. She’s ‘mommy’.
We guys often have such an odd learning curve when it comes to girls. First we love mommy. She, with her fleshy lumps of sustenance, nurturing, and love. Unconditional love, it seems, as evidenced by her ceaseless tending to the even more ceaseless urine and feces. Even in those rare moments when the odor of the oozing baby fudge was so intense that it made your mommy vomit, she would dutifully wipe both yours and her spooge away.
At some point real girls came into the picture. And they had cooties. I don’t know if there is a metaphor here that precurses venereal crabs, but…
Anyway, the girls were a ‘must avoid’. Stinky, winky, icky girls. Eeeeeoooowwww! This phase likely becomes the incubation for later male bonding.
And then, girls take on yet another role for guys. Though it often takes a while for guys to figure this out, at some point there seems to be a kind of crotch-based allergic reaction. To girls.
Swelling and disfigurement, and perhaps a bit of pain.
It may take some time to figure out how to treat the malady. Yet, nearly always, the answer comes. I’m just saying. Cooties at this point have become insignificant relics of a distant past.
I guess it is understandable that guys do not think of their mothers as girls. Sure don’t want mom tending to that allergic swelling that girls cause.
Again, I’m just saying…
deorre
Cooties cause celibacy, and age causes allergic reactions… is that about right?
Oh, no, wait, because after a certain point it is age that causes celibacy, and I’m pretty sure I”ve heard that cooties can cause itching if not full-blown allergic reactions.
Oh gawd, I’m so confused…
Comment by ThatOneAgain — May 31, 2007 @ 2:17 pm
So, don’t be too hard on yourself.
Comment by deorre — May 31, 2007 @ 2:27 pm
Hate to dwell on the mommy thing and have some weird mommy/girl fixation. I’m just saying. :O)
Comment by Inklings — May 31, 2007 @ 2:30 pm
of the subject as any I’ve seen. I especially appreciate the ‘allergic reaction’ metaphor. Well done!
And, good to see you again, deorre!
Comment by wolframdonat — May 31, 2007 @ 2:33 pm
girls keep me off balance!
Comment by Familyfunandfaith — June 1, 2007 @ 7:41 am
I don’t think girls go through that “ick, cooties” phase regarding the opposite sex — at least not with the virulence that boys seem to experience it.
Comment by ThatOneAgain — June 1, 2007 @ 9:13 am
Apparently in my hubby’s family, NONE of the boys seem to fear cooties. They’re all girl chasers from the get go and they have serious crotch-based allergic reactions. I’ve got the youngest boy of the clan, and he’s already showing symptoms. Thanks for reminding me of this story, Deorre.
Comment by Quantamama — June 4, 2007 @ 7:36 am
You were tagged here to write a post and divluge seven random things about yourself that you think nobody knows.
TF
Comment by Trick Falls — June 21, 2007 @ 9:59 pm
Shall do it now.
Comment by deorre — June 24, 2007 @ 9:14 am